


Mr Astley

by tilly90



Category: Rick Astley (Musician)
Genre: Gen, Gen Z are right about skinny jeans, Lauren this is for you, Millennials vs Gen Z, R.I.P skinny jeans, Rick Astley is an angel, Yes I wrote a fanfic to Rick roll Lauren, never gonna give you up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29587065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tilly90/pseuds/tilly90
Summary: Mr Astley visits a friend in need and shows them the way. You don’t fight fire with fire, you keep Rick Rolling on.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Mr Astley

This is the greatest and best song in the world...  
Tribute.

No, I thought to myself, no it’s just not the right song. It’s a fantastic song and I do love it, but it’s just not right for what I need right now. 

I was sitting on the couch, my head resting on my fist, and exuding the angst of someone 15 years younger than myself. 

How had it come to this? 

I couldn’t let it go. 

Why couldn’t I let it go!? 

I closed my eyes and sent a wish, a plea, a desperate prayer out to the universe needing some sort of answer. 

I felt, more than heard, the presence come to being before me. It was every child’s dream to encounter their fairy godmother, and the thought crossed my mind that I had finally had this dream come full circle. 

I opened my eyes and reeled in shock at the majestic figure bathed in light. 

He wore a trench coat, sunglasses, and moved his hands from side to side in a way only he could. 

“Rick Astley,” I whispered, awe clouding my tone, “is that you?”

“Yes, friend,” he smiled at me and wiggled his shoulders, jostling the shoulder pads in his coat, “tell me, what summoned me here today?” 

“Mr Astley, it’s a grave situation,” I started, steepling my fingers under my chin, “ you see there’s a Cold War right now between Gen Z and Millennials, and something shocking has happened.”

Mr Astley realised the gravity of what I was saying and lowered his sunglasses down his nose, staring at me with his piercing brown eyes. 

He gestured for me to continue. 

“I’m a Millennial, and I’ve worn this badge with pride! I burnt CD’s to listen to on my Walkman, I adored Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. I had my hair cut to look like Taylor from Hanson, and I mmbopped, and girl powered my way to school on a razor scooter trying not to let my tamagotchi fall out of my pocket on the way.” 

He nodded and a small smile appeared on his face.

“But, Mr Astley, I’m 30 now, and I have to say it. I hate skinny jeans and my friend Lauren doesn’t agree with me,” I hung my head after this confession and wallowed in self pity, a traitor to my own kind. 

A gentle hand rested on my shoulder. 

“Do you remember that phase in the late 90’s where you wore jeans with a paisley strip on the hem?”

I nodded, “I do, Mr Astley, I do.”

“Do you remember the low cut jeans with pockets on the knee caps so they were a hybrid cargo pant? The flared jeans with the ruffles on the end? The knee length Jean shorts you wore after you had your first child?”

“Oh, God,” I muttered, “I had forgotten about the Jean shorts.”

He smiled at me and patted me on the head. 

“Things change, the world turns, and jeans ebb and flow through our lives in a truly endless mass of styles. It will circle back and old will become new again, recycled but reformed, unique to some, a jaded past to others.” 

I blinked and stared at his hands and then his glowing face. His hands because he was still dancing, and his face because his words touched my soul. 

“But,” he continued, “there’s something that doesn’t change. There’s always something to rely on, something that will anchor you and show you the way. It will never let you down.” 

I gasped and if I had been wearing pearls I would’ve clutched them. 

“Do you mean— “

“Yes, yes I do,” he twirled on the spot and his clothes morphed into beloved baggy jeans and a denim shirt. It was like watching a baby smile for the first time, and I felt the shift, the lightness breaking through the barriers around my heavy heart. 

A tear ran down my cheek.

He winked at me and started to fade. Before he had left completely he whispered one last thing. 

“You know the rules and so do I.” 

I leaped onto the couch and went to pull my jeans up, but realised I didn’t need to because they were high waisted, and fist pumped the air. 

My path was clear. I had been shown the answer. 

I was going to Rick Roll Lauren into submission. 

It was the only way I could free her mind and her legs from the constraints of skinny jeans, and the aging demographic they now represented. She would cast off the shackles with me and together we would dance, with the ease of mobility that baggy jeans afforded. 

I went to YouTube and found the video I was looking for. I posted it to her Facebook page and my crusade began. 

I was never going to give her up.

**Author's Note:**

> We're no strangers to love  
> You know the rules and so do I  
> A full commitment's what I'm thinking of  
> You wouldn't get this from any other guy  
> I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling  
> Gotta make you understand
> 
> Never gonna give you up  
> Never gonna let you down  
> Never gonna run around and desert you  
> Never gonna make you cry  
> Never gonna say goodbye  
> Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
> 
> We've known each other for so long  
> Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it  
> Inside we both know what's been going on  
> We know the game and we're gonna play it
> 
> And if you ask me how I'm feeling  
> Don't tell me you're too blind to see
> 
> Never gonna give you up  
> Never gonna let you down  
> Never gonna run around and desert you  
> Never gonna make you cry  
> Never gonna say goodbye  
> Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
> 
> No, I'm never gonna give you up  
> No, I'm never gonna let you down  
> No, I'll never run around and hurt you  
> Never, ever desert you
> 
> We've known each other for so long  
> Your heart's been aching but
> 
> Never gonna give you up  
> Never gonna let you down  
> Never gonna run around and desert you  
> Never gonna make you cry  
> Never gonna say goodbye  
> Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
> 
> No, I'm never gonna give you up  
> No, I'm never gonna let you down  
> No, I'll never run around and hurt you  
> I'll never, ever desert you


End file.
